The Departed

Wanna see a great movie? Try "The Departed" directed by Martin Scorcese... Its a brilliant gangster movie, a remake of the classic John Woo diamond, "Infernal Affairs", starring (amongst others,) Leonardo De Caprio, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Ray Winstone and Jack Nicholson.

The storyline is fabulous, intricately woven with twists a-plenty, and the soundtrack, (all important to me) is legendary...

I'm feeling a little smug tonight 'cos I searched, found, and even managed to download my favourite track off the movie, onto my phone (!) ... This whole process was an ITC triumph for me, as my technophobia about such a process is the stuff of legend...

Anyway, if you wanna hear it and also see some clips off the movie, check the video below... I love it and its got my Irish genes jiggling! Good stuff!

I FUCKING HATE BLOGGER!!!!

I really fucking do...

Eye Candy Plus Some Decent Tunes...

benny benassi - satisfaction
Uploaded by guigue84




First video is “Satisfaction” by Mr. Benny Benassi, it features the not too ugly Jerri Byrne, (pictured on the left, above...) The tune on it's own is OK, but when viewed with the video, gives a whole new meaning to the word "jiggle..." Still I'm a little concerned about the 'health and safety' element of this video... The angle of that power drill is allwrong, and shouldn't the girls be wearing steel toe-capped boots...? Still in hindsight, we know that no hotties were harmed in the making of this video, so I guess it's all good...

Now, the second is the wonderul 'Perfect (Exceeder') by Mason vs. Princess Superstar.

Fortunately, this is one of my favourite tunes of 2007... An 80's inspired dance track, I played this tune on a loop when I first heard it... It's a track that more than stands up on it's own, but when I watch the video, it causes me to ... erm... stand upon my own. It features my favourite eye candy of the moment, Casey Batchelor. Now Casey has it all for me... Big brown eyes, big ...erm... personality and even a gap in her teeth that I find hot, hot, hot...



I'm sad enough to know that Casey was training to be a classical ballerina, until her chest got in the way... But fortunately for us all, she persevered with her dance career till she got to appear in this video... Watch and enjoy! Oh and if like me, you need to see more of Casey, look here…


Mason Vs PrincessSuperStar Perfect Exceeder
Uploaded by vatosz

Matrix Path Of Neo - PS2

Matrix - Néo Vs Smith
Uploaded by lorenzot

Ah! Its good to be back! I've missed the blogosphere and the good friends I've made within it. I've missed being able to spout my nonsensical opinions and talk crap! That said, I guess its time to impart the latest chapter of my gaming life!

OK, so as you may or may not know, I've been away for two weeks in beautiful Wales, spending quality time with Mrs. K and the boys! And what a great two weeks it was... The sun came out for the first time in months and I even swam in the Irish Sea! I saw a school of tiny fishes moving through the crystal water (the only time I've ever seen fish in the sea in the UK). I watched shooting stars in a cloudless sky, the constellations shining brighter than they ever do in the neon light-polluted city and life was good... But enough of that romantic BS, what about the gaming?

Let me contextualise the trip in terms of gaming... The consoles I took away were the PS2 and the DS. The DS barely got touched, and I only played the PS2 late at night when Mrs. K had gone to sleep. Thus my gaming time was minimal. One thing I did do, was take away all my PS2 games, and for the first time actually took stock of what I'd picked up for the PS2 through my Saturn and Dreamcast obsessed years (the PS2 being my least played console...)

Wanna see the list? OK here goes...

Matrix Path Of Neo

Resident Evil 4

Tiger Woods PGA 2005

Kingdom Hearts

Half Life

Mark Ecko's Getting Up

Pro Evolution Soccer 6

Sponge Bob Square Pants The Movie

Yakuza

Max Payne

Resident Evil Survivor 2: Code Veronica

Resident Evil Outbreak File 2

Viewtiful Joe 1 & 2

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Virtua Cop Elite Edition

Gun

Virtua Fighter 4

Need for Speed Carbon

LOTR Return Of The King

Colin McRae Rally 3

Outrun 2006 Coast To Coast

Crazy Taxi

Sega Superstars (Eye Toy)

Nice haul huh? Problem is, most of them remain unplayed, so the idea was that I had them on hand to dip into over my vacation and give them a whirl! The ones I most wanted to test out were RE Gun Survivor CV and Virtua Cop Elite Edition. The exploration of the latter would have provided a comparative review for the Saturn Junkyard. However, my Namco G2 Light Gun was playing up, so that put pay to playing those titles! DOH!

I dipped into Viewtiful Joe 1, and whilst I liked the cut of its jib, I got stuck within the second level, and realised that I had to many other titles to become frustrated re-playing the same scene over and over... I dabbled with Half Life, but again became frustrated when I couldn't get my lab coat out of my locker, thus preventing me from getting further into the game! (Yes I know, pathetic... LOL!)

So what, dear hearts, floated my boat over the last fortnight? As the title of the post suggests, it was a film cross-over. Normally the very mention of a movie franchise game sends shudders down the spine of purist gamers. A quote from a recent article in Games TM magazine illustrates the point...

"As a rule, the mere mention of great film being licensed for a videogame is enough to spread waves of revulsion spreading through every fibre of our being. Given the volume of slapdash games made in tribute to Hollywood, this is hardly a surprise..."

It then goes on to pour doubt on the very game franchise, I've enjoyed so much over the past couple of weeks...

"The ease with which money can be made creates an unfortunate situation, because the marriage between videogames and cinema has the potential to be a fruitful one. Enter The Matrix (and Matrix Path Of Neo) was certainly no masterpiece, but the idea of using a videogame to enrich a film by extending and deepening its story was interesting - its just a shame that both film and game were so crushingly average. Had Matrix Reloaded been as compelling as the first film, and had Enter The Matrix been as scintillating as Ninja Gaiden, then the whole enterprise may have been heralded as the future of entertainment."

Well, I take issue with the above statement! (Somewhat unsurprisingly...) For a start I love the Matrix Trilogy, like Star Wars, LOTR, Resident Evil and even Austin Powers, its a case of the more the better! I actually consider the Matrix Trilogy and even the off shoot Animatrix, essential parts of a unified whole! (Geek Factor levels at Code Red! :)

If the Wachowski Brothers had knocked on my door and asked me to name all the ingredients I wanted to create a perfect film, they couldn't have got it more right... A comic book style sci-fi epic, combining kung fu, killer weapons, stunning fight scenes, awesome soundtrack and even the odd bit of esoteric philosophy... Result? Perfection!! So even if the games had been "crushingly average" the chance to explore the world of the films more, was always gonna be one that suckered me in...

Enter The Matrix was one of my all time favourite videogames, I stated as much in a post over at the Saturn Junkyard. It remains one of the few games I've ever played through to conclusion. Why? Because it allows immediate pick up and play potential, a manageable learning curve, a great level of immersion, player friendly save system and the above mentioned ability to further explore the whole Matrix Universe I so adore...

But of course, Matrix Path Of Neo, allows you to play as Neo, The One.... Starting with a training "program", allowing you to master the combat controls, you're soon thrust into the action, following faithfully the events of the first films. Videoclips taken directly from the movie, as well as graphic cutscenes, keep the player feeling they are part of a cinematic experience...

A user friendly save system, and the ability to accquire "upgrades" to enhance combat moves at the end of every level, make playing through the game fun and acheiveable. There are also upgraded weapons and health packs liberally sprinkled throughout the levels, so you're never sent too far back through the game if you die. Of course I played through on the easy option (why don't all games have this?) I might try it again on the harder otion at a later date, I enjoyed the game that much...

As you progres further into the game, the plot begins to diverge further away from the plot of the movie. Its fabulous to explore new environments, often strange and beguiling... This culminates in a fabulous cut-scene on near completion of the game, where the Wachowski Brothers themselves come into the game, represented as '8 Bit' space invader characters, who congratulate you on your progress, throw out a bit of tongue in cheek psycho-babble, before revealing that you're gonna have to battle a boss before you complete the game. The boss in question? A giant Agent Smith, combining his multitude of clones and assorted rubble from the debris of the city!

All in all a sublime gaming experience, definitely in my top five games of all time, a credit to the might of the PS2 and a spit in the eye for all doubters of movie-game crossovers!

Testimony to its greatness, is the fact that it has lured my eldest son back int the world of videogaming, as he was so enthralled by watching me play... He's now playing through it himself, and it must be the first game that he's showed any interest in this year...

Wanna know more? The official website is here, for a favourable IGN review look here and for the official Wikipedia page look here...

Glad to be back folks! Love to you all! FK :)

Red Steel U-Turn!

What can I say? I'm grateful for any readers I can get on any of my blogs, but DAMN! How many U-Turns can I make? The latest is Red Steel... Having wavered and sat on the fence about Red Steel, now I'm doing a complete U-Turn! I love this game!!!

Story? Well the story is pretty standard, you're an L.A. Cop about to marry the daughter of a Japanese Yakuza boss, only on the eve of your wedding, they get kidnapped!!! You then have to battle your way through the game to get them back! Of course you're gonna have to travel from L.A. to Japan, slash and shoot your way through a variety of unfamiliar environments, battle Yakuza and gangsters, and win back your loved one! As a gaijin, you're not going to be well received, but the boss has entrusted you with his sacred katana, so you'll be alright! (See what I'm doing here? I'm dropping in Japanese words like I know shit... And I don't know SHIT!)

Graphics? Well here's the deal... I recently bitched on the Dreamcast Junkyard about how these graphics weren't a patch on Shenmue, which was a last-gen title produced on an older system, over six years ago!... and thats true! The graphics on the Dreamcast's Shenmue far excede this game's, but the money that went into Shenmue, far excede the money that went into Red Steel, and besides, Red Steel is more about the gameplay, more of which later... Ubisoft focused on the control system and it's swordman's-ship... So we'll concentrate on that for now... In a recent video review from IGN that I watched, they accused the graphics of being abit "carboardy"... Now I know that's not a real word but I understand what they were talking about... The cut scenes are 2D animations (and the loading times are criminal), but as a contrary mofo, I'll postulate that within the context of the game they work!!

Musical score? OK! One of the best musical score of any game I've ever played! The only score that can fit the bill as well, in any media I've ever experienced would be the musical score for the Matrix! (And that was damn fine!!!) There's plenty of J Pop (which I've come to love through J and Elderly) sprinkled into the mix, as well as excellent anonymous 'action music' that springs into life whenever you've got a Yakuza battle on your hands... Did I mention my love of all things Japanese? Since playing Shenmue, I've been a Japanophile... I love the language, the culture, the rendered Cityscapes, the neon signs in Japanese... BASICALLY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!

Gameplay? Stunning! This is a FPS peeps, and usually that would have me turning off any console at the start... But somehow I've managed to get past my aversion on this game... I love only being able to see my forearms! Wether carrying a sword or wielding an Uzi, it just feels so RIGHT! You've got a forgiving "checkpoint" game save system, so you never have to replay too much if you fuck up...

Control System? Let's move on! The Wii-mote is your point and click gun, and also your sword... Your nunchuck helpfully reloads your gun, and acts as a parrying, defensive smaller sword... If your arsenal is running low, step over any weapon that you've already got and your bullet count is increased... Better weapon presents itself, and you can swap! Basically, as you progess through the game, you can increase your weapon stash! Which is good! You've got a lot of enemies to fight! And sword fighting is just great! Use your Wii-mote to hack and slash, your nunchuck to defend and parry... Once you've played a bit this becomes intuitive and you can defeat the most hardcore bosses...

Oh! and I forgot to mention that I'm playing this game using the official strategy guide? For those of you that don't know what that is, it's a walkthrough that is published by the game developer, but you have to pay for! But I didn't! I got mine for free! When I bought Red Steel, I grabbed a strategy guide off the shelf to help me through my quest. Due to a till/register fuck up, the price came up as 1p! And the dude behind the counter gave it me for free!! Happy days!

Links? OK, to create some kind of context and perspective, I'll need to post a few! For better reviews look here, here and here...

And BTW! Can I just say that this is a vastly inferior review than the one that Blogger fucked up! Despite the new auto-save feature Blogger is still a cunt! DON'T TRUST BLOGGER! I'm going on vacation for two weeks to my Lighthouse in Wales, I'm taking my PS2 and DS, so I'll post some reviews of games on those consoles when I get back! Happy days!

Red Steel - Ubi Soft
Uploaded by Luciole_Keikoku

Wii Sports Review...

Wii Sports was the game that I got bundled with the console, and its great for demonstrating its all encompassing 'family'/non-gamer loveliness... Still, it is just that... Like Wii Play its just a game I drag out when I want to show how 'great' the Wii is.... (And BTW I'm not going to review the game I'll leave that to the good folks at IGN in the video above... Suffice to say, tennis and bowling are the ones I enjoy/play the most...)



The Wii was the current gen console I opted for, and yet if I wanted to convince a non-gamer about how great video gaming could be, I'd probably plump for a demonstration of the Dreamcast or the Saturn.

The reasons I opted for the Wii would probably be the initial promo videos, Gnome, J, Junlee and my love for the DS!

It remains the third (or possibly fourth) most played console in my house! The only game that I have battered on the Wii, is a game that I have already enjoyed on the PS2... RE4...
Red Steel rocks, but in no way does it measure up to what it appeared to be when the Wii teasers were posted on the internet...


Now on the other hand, I dipped into the world of the 360 this weekend... I played a demo of Burn Out Revenge for the 360 on my brother-in-law's recently bought console... And it rocked! Graphically gorgeous, heart racingly quick and just a joy to play... the wireless controllers were fully appreciated as well... (why don't all consoles boast these bad boys?)



Oh and BTW... I played the game as a demo, free with a 360 magazine... Why doesn't the Wii have demo games given away with the multitude of Nintendo magazines? We've got N-Gamer, Official Nintendo Magazine and Nintendo Revolution. We've had free posters, DS stickers, sweat bands, badges (buttons) and all manner of free gifts, but no demo discs!!!! WTF is that all about?

Demos for all consoles I've ever played have been free with magazines from Saturn mags, Dreamcast mags, PS1 mags, PS2 mags to the current joy given away with 360 magazines, these things are the best way of enticing you to buy a game....

But for some reason, no Wii demos... I'm actually thinking of staging a Wii 'demo' about the lack of demos! Who's with me? We could start a Revolution! Couldn't Wii?

Father Krishna's Wii-kly Logo!

My very good friend and esteemed blogging brother The Elderly Gamer, has been kind enough to design this rather wonderful logo for FKWS! I'm rather thrilled with it! See me gloriously bedecked in my priest's robes? With the Wii logo in the background? Genius! It will be forever at the top of the FKWS sidebar! But there's another place you can revel in its glory, and that's in the Essential Links section on The Elderly's most stunning of blogs which you can check out right here...

It is a little known fact that I am a genuine man of the cloth! My official title, (as confirmed on my Boots Card), is the Reverend Simon Early. Fancy joining me in my ecumenical brotherhood? It's easy! You can become a reverend, monk or even a bishop! Over the internet no less, and you can do it right here... You'll even receive a certificate that you can print out and put up on your wall. Hey and don't worry! Your religious duties are zero (although I have performed a baptism once!) Its just a bit of fun really! Hell you could even do your dog if you wanted! Anyway! Enjoy your weekend and blessings on you all!

Alien Syndrome Out For The Wii...

Alien Syndrome, Sega's classic arcade "run and gun" adventure has been given a twentieth anniversary make over and release on the Wii. Out today, the new improved Alien Syndrome looks like a rather lovely prospect with plenty of extra terrestrials to blast and a rather foxy heroine in the shape of Lieutenant Aileen Harding.

If you would like to know more, then Sega have produced a rather lovely website which you can check out here... Its got screenshots, videos, character profiles, the works! To catch up on the history of this much loved title theres a rather splendid reference page on Wikipedia which you can look at here...

Oh and to complete your reference point for the game, you can read an IGN preview here...

The Top Twenty Gayest Video game Characters Of All Time!

Browsing for images to illustrate your post can find you some funny sites! Whilst looking for pictures to illustrate my RE 4 post, I came across the following image...

...which I thought was very funny. The source for this post was the rather excellent and highly amusing Gay Gamer website.




Now don't worry readers, I'm not bursting out of the closet with this post! (I'm still a commited heterosexual husband and father...) I am however a very liberal kind of a guy and like to think of myself as unprejudiced, and there's no reason whatsoever why I shouldn't flag up the Gay Gamer website ("for boys who like boys who like joysticks!") as it actually has a lot of good articles, reviews and funny pieces such as the list mentioned above.

One thing about the list that irks me about the list, however, is that my own favourite gay game character Voldo, from Soul Calibur doesn't even make the list! Still he does get an honourable mention! For the full list look here!

Resident Ecstasy!

Well, it took me two weekends to smash RE4 Wii Edition. No walkthroughs and only a little help from 'Ginger' Martin, my 13 year old gaming expert, that I sometimes employ to get me through the most bollock breakingly frustrating parts of games!

And OH! The ecstasy to be found within this title! The awe, the wonder the marvels! You see this game has it all for me. Its a horror survival game. It has elements of a Light Gun game, even though its a third person shooter. Shooting, is a delight and aiming is easy. Heads explode gloriously, and enemies fly back in a most satisfying manner.



You get to solve puzzles, play a mini game... (a rifle range where you can win 'bottle caps', each with a miniature figurine of a game character attached, ... A tad like those damn addictive capsule toys in Shenmue!)



And talking of Shenmue, another common feature to both games is the use of QTEs (or Quick Time Events) that appear at random, and rely on the right Wiimote shaking or A+B button pressing in response to a certain perilous situation. And its got mutants, mutants whose heads explode to reveal a second head, with razor sharp tendrils that can slice you up.



Then theres the pant wettingly scary landscapes and environments, the chilling atmosphere and the oppressive music. Mad monks, in-bred villagers, mutated soldiers, gimp-masked scientists and chainsaw wielding bag ladies! Oh... and did I mention the giants? The monster leviathan like sea creatures, the train rides, the cable car rides, the truck rides, all peppered with psychotic peasants? OH YES!

Then there's our characters... Leon S. Kennedy... Thats right! LEON. S-FUCKING- KENNEDY. Like some rock hard David Beckham (sort of...its the hair!) Leon rules!!!
He's dead cool! He even turns down a shag from the well endowed President's daughter Ashley (after a ball shrinking, sphincter shredding, adrenaline pumping rocket ride on a jet ski whilst avoiding a tidal wave, avalanches and several explosions!!!!) That's 'cos he's in love with Ada Wong!!! (See below...)



What about Salazar? An eighteenth century, decrepit 20 year old, high pitched squealing, midget! Or Ada Wong? A slinky red dress wearing Asian super-spy, with a suspender belt full of gadgetry and weaponry? Or Luiz? A Hispanic, law enforcing, renegade scientist-cop, always after (and failing to get) a coveted cigarette? Or Chief Mendez... the bald headed, beardy, one eyed mutating boss man? Jeez!


OK, rant over! The re-invention of the Resident Evil franchise has been reinvented on the Wii!
Wiimote and Nunchuck have never felt so natural. There are plenty of chances of weapon upgrades (thanks to our good mate, gravel voiced Australian flasher, the Merchant), tons of health regeneration, generous save potential, luscious graphics and sound track, spine chilling atmosphere and treasures galore to be collected.

Gamecube owners were the first to get their hands on this amazing game. PS2 owners got the revamped and upgraded version, with the unlockable Ada Wong missions, ("Separate Ways") -which not only allows you to continue roaming the RE4 world when you've clocked the game, but also allows you to understand what Ada was up to when she disappeared from the main storyline- and now Wii owners have the opportunity to revel once more with the oh so natural Wii control system!

If you own a GC, a PS2 or a Wii, you must play this game. I still rate Shenmue 1 & 2 as my favourite games of all time, but I'm no longer sure why! So many things contribute to a person's enjoyment of a game...



The Dreamcast became an obsession of mine through playing Shenmue. Shenmue, became an obsession of mine because I owned a Dreamcast! The two things have become such a major part of my life, and have generated so much pleasure, that they are the pinnacle of my gaming experience!

However, RE4 has got to be the most playable game I have ever experienced for all the right reasons...

"Little Mart", (middle Ginger), was so encapsulated by the snippets of RE4 Wii that I let him complete for me, that he started, and played through, the PS2 version in 17 hours unlocking EVERY treasure, secret and mystery...

I'm not making any sense whatsoever, and I could just keep on rambling, but the PC screen is giving me a headache and I need to stop. I've still got to add pics and links, so I'll sign off now!

Oh! and for a coherent review look here... For screenshots look here... And for some lovely RE 4 videos look here...

Goodnight dear children wherever you are!

Why PS3 is better than the Wii and 360...(And why Chad Warden is such a dick...) LOL!

No words can describe the above rant. Watch in horror...

Chad Warden Confesses That He's Gay

Chad you poor fool! Apart from talking through your arse in the video above, you laid yourself open to this rather hilarious remixing of your original post! Perhaps you shouldn't have used the words 'ass', 'dildo' and 'Chad Warden' so much in one video?
LOL! :)

The Video The Dreamcast Junkyard Doesn't Want You To See!

OK I've posted the whole Chad Warden debacle up bove right? Well this was Anthony Perez's response to the whole Chad affair... Since he posted it, he himself has received a lot of stick for being no better than Chad. But there is ONE BIG DIFFERENCE. Anthony is using all his fake wannabe Gangsta skills to big up the Dreamcast! Therefore he automatically deserves our respect right? WRONG! My colleagues over at The Dreamcast Junkyard were so apalled at me posting this video, that they had it removed! You can't keep the good Father down that easily however, and so here it is with the originals that spawned it on FKWS! Enjoy!

Wii Blaster with Umbrella Chronicles

Wow! A big thanks to my good friend Deitrix for unearthing this treasure! I can hardly believe how great this is! Recently I bemoaned the fact that whilst I was looking forward to Umbrella Chronicles and enjoying the delights of RE4 Wii edition, the titles needed a light gun peripheral to really enjoy the game... (In fact I think the unfortunate phrase I came up with to illustrate this point was "there's nothing like a smoking light gun to get you hard...").

But this? It's gotta be the most exciting peripheral since the Dreamcast Microphone! Look at its beauty, the sublime design, the way it looks like the Wiimote and Nunchuck were just made for it!

The shot of the couple with the huge TV in the background, made me think of the arcade cabinet of House Of The Dead 4. I'm always looking for an arcade experience at home, and this is surely going to deliver!!

The Resident Evil Gun Survivor series was greeted with a very lukewarm response. I actually loved it! I bought RE:CV Gun Survivor with a Namco G-Con 2 Light Gun after seeing my first clip of Umbrella Chronicles. The excitement it caused on me necessitated the purchase! And its a good game! But Umbrella Chronicles with the Wii Blaster, will eclipse it a thousand times!!!

I even love the name! Wii Blaster! I think games like this are the perfect antidote to the sickly sweet "family play" image that has made the Wii the run away success that it is.

Scarface, Manhunt 2, RE4 and now this... Great stuff! BTW my posting output should increase over the coming weeks as the best feature of my job kicks in... The SIX weeks holidays! (formerly known as the Summer Holidays, the recent British torrential months have taken the concept of summer away...) This means I can play games and tap away at my keyboard without feeling guilty about it!

Oh my God! The predictablility of a certain Father...

Well, guess what, the inevitable has happened... I bought RE4 (Wii Edition) tonight...

I say bought... In fact I traded in Spiderman 3 and Monster 4X4 to secure my most coveted of games... What a fucking rip off! Those two titles would set you back about £80 if you bought them new... and yet for pre-owned trade in they generated £32 (in total) at Game! Wankers!

Still, I've played RE4 Wii a bit and it ROCKS!

Same old, wonderful, RE4, but with nice intuative Wii controls! Marvellous!

You know you're gonna here more about this in the future... watch this space!

Fresh Prince of San Andreas! (Spoof!)

I hate the GTA franchise, but I think that this is genius! Enjoy!

Resident Evil 4 Wii Commercial and Gameplay

WOW! Whilst the opening commercial looks kinda cheesey, I have to admit that this video has rekindled my desire to obtain this particular title.

I actually wish you could buy a Light Gun peripheral for this baby, as shooting with the Wiimote is fun (e.g. Red Steel) but, there's nothing like the feel of a smokin' Light Gun to get you hard!

I still fancy Umbrella Chronicles more, but who knows? I might purchase both! However, my recent financial melt down means that if I want new games I've got to trade in old ones... Either that or just wait for the next celebration, which by my calculations is... Damn! Christmas! What a dilemma!

Monster 4x4 World Circuit Review

HOLY FUCK!

I'm posting this motherfucker as an example of how NOT to post a game review...

Although it captures the video of how the game plays, the robot-like Waco bitch, really kills any element of the real gameplay of this game!

Nuff said! Watch and 'enjoy'...

LOL! :)

Monster 4 X 4 World Circuit: Review-ish...

I received this game as a present from my good friends John and Rhoda, when I turned 40 last month.

I got it on the same day as I got my Wii, so it was, I suppose, one of my own personal Wii launch titles. It comes with a steering wheel which goes around your Wii remote, so you can actually fully immerse yourself in the driving experience.



The game allows the player to choose from a number of 'whacky' Monster Trucks, e.g. a school bus, Mini, fire truck or VW Beetle. The object of the main game is to race around track against various other vehicles, pulling off stunts on a number of ramps, littered around the course. this is done by pulling the steering wheel towards you in a circular motion, as you go over the ramps (is this making sense?) Pulling off a stunt gives you a burst of Nitro...

If all that isn't hectic enough, there are walls of fire to avoid, which ignite your truck and slow it down. Fortunately you can drive over fire shields, which will prevent your truck from burning.

There are also launchable barrels, which you can chuck at your oponents, slowing them down...

The game is loads of fun and very easy to pick up and play. As well as the main games there are two mini games, Monster Soccer in which you use your truck to try and push a giant ball towards your oponents goal. There is also a combat game called, (originally enough) Monster Combat... which uses the barrel throwing element of the main game as a device for smacking the fuck out of your friend's truck. Lovely!

One gripe, however... On a recent rare afternoon when I had my best mate Tay round for an afternoon's competetive gaming, every time we tried to get the multi-player mode on for a bit of head to head, the game (?) kept switching one of the Wii remotes off. We couldn't actually play in the end, and ended up switching off the Wii and plugging in the Dreamcast for a thoroughly enjoyable session of Fighting Vipers 2, Sega World Wide Soccer (Euro Edition), Daytona USA and Virtua Athlete 2K... No Wii game should send its players running back to an eight year old defunct console (admittedly a fan-fucking-tastic one) should it?

I was sufficiently miffed with this glitch to phone the Ubisoft help-line. What a fucking waste of time that was! I spoke to some retarded Goth who was about as useful as a chocolate teapot!

Any way, I'm not going to let that put me off... There's probably a reason for this that I'm too stupid to understand. Marks out of ten? Probably a seven!

Oh and as an after-thought, this game made me think of the potential of Crazy Taxi on the Wii...

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"