Oh my God! The predictablility of a certain Father...

Well, guess what, the inevitable has happened... I bought RE4 (Wii Edition) tonight...

I say bought... In fact I traded in Spiderman 3 and Monster 4X4 to secure my most coveted of games... What a fucking rip off! Those two titles would set you back about £80 if you bought them new... and yet for pre-owned trade in they generated £32 (in total) at Game! Wankers!

Still, I've played RE4 Wii a bit and it ROCKS!

Same old, wonderful, RE4, but with nice intuative Wii controls! Marvellous!

You know you're gonna here more about this in the future... watch this space!

Fresh Prince of San Andreas! (Spoof!)

I hate the GTA franchise, but I think that this is genius! Enjoy!

Resident Evil 4 Wii Commercial and Gameplay

WOW! Whilst the opening commercial looks kinda cheesey, I have to admit that this video has rekindled my desire to obtain this particular title.

I actually wish you could buy a Light Gun peripheral for this baby, as shooting with the Wiimote is fun (e.g. Red Steel) but, there's nothing like the feel of a smokin' Light Gun to get you hard!

I still fancy Umbrella Chronicles more, but who knows? I might purchase both! However, my recent financial melt down means that if I want new games I've got to trade in old ones... Either that or just wait for the next celebration, which by my calculations is... Damn! Christmas! What a dilemma!

Monster 4x4 World Circuit Review

HOLY FUCK!

I'm posting this motherfucker as an example of how NOT to post a game review...

Although it captures the video of how the game plays, the robot-like Waco bitch, really kills any element of the real gameplay of this game!

Nuff said! Watch and 'enjoy'...

LOL! :)

Monster 4 X 4 World Circuit: Review-ish...

I received this game as a present from my good friends John and Rhoda, when I turned 40 last month.

I got it on the same day as I got my Wii, so it was, I suppose, one of my own personal Wii launch titles. It comes with a steering wheel which goes around your Wii remote, so you can actually fully immerse yourself in the driving experience.



The game allows the player to choose from a number of 'whacky' Monster Trucks, e.g. a school bus, Mini, fire truck or VW Beetle. The object of the main game is to race around track against various other vehicles, pulling off stunts on a number of ramps, littered around the course. this is done by pulling the steering wheel towards you in a circular motion, as you go over the ramps (is this making sense?) Pulling off a stunt gives you a burst of Nitro...

If all that isn't hectic enough, there are walls of fire to avoid, which ignite your truck and slow it down. Fortunately you can drive over fire shields, which will prevent your truck from burning.

There are also launchable barrels, which you can chuck at your oponents, slowing them down...

The game is loads of fun and very easy to pick up and play. As well as the main games there are two mini games, Monster Soccer in which you use your truck to try and push a giant ball towards your oponents goal. There is also a combat game called, (originally enough) Monster Combat... which uses the barrel throwing element of the main game as a device for smacking the fuck out of your friend's truck. Lovely!

One gripe, however... On a recent rare afternoon when I had my best mate Tay round for an afternoon's competetive gaming, every time we tried to get the multi-player mode on for a bit of head to head, the game (?) kept switching one of the Wii remotes off. We couldn't actually play in the end, and ended up switching off the Wii and plugging in the Dreamcast for a thoroughly enjoyable session of Fighting Vipers 2, Sega World Wide Soccer (Euro Edition), Daytona USA and Virtua Athlete 2K... No Wii game should send its players running back to an eight year old defunct console (admittedly a fan-fucking-tastic one) should it?

I was sufficiently miffed with this glitch to phone the Ubisoft help-line. What a fucking waste of time that was! I spoke to some retarded Goth who was about as useful as a chocolate teapot!

Any way, I'm not going to let that put me off... There's probably a reason for this that I'm too stupid to understand. Marks out of ten? Probably a seven!

Oh and as an after-thought, this game made me think of the potential of Crazy Taxi on the Wii...

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles (Wii)

Looking good!

Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles - Interview Translated

This video (or rather the game it describes) has faced a lot of criticism on Youtube. Why? Because its going to be easier to play than previous titles. So some gamers have decided that means it will be shit. Well from the video clips I've seen it looks bloody brilliant.

I read recently that RE Code Veronica was the easiest of the franchise. I actually never finished it, cos I'd found it that hard! So I applaud the fact that this will be an easier game to complete. Having also enjoyed the "Survivor's Guide" version of RE:CV I love the idea of RE as an FPS/light gun game. Personally for me this is the most anticipated game on the Wii...

Wii Promo Video

FK's Wii-kly Sermons Bicentennial!

Wow! 200 visits on the web-counter! We might be up to a 1000 by 2009...

Here's a great picture of Beyonce to celebrate! LOL! :)

Red Steel: first Thoughts...

Wow! I played through the first two levels of Red Steel today! It's quite something! I have to say however, that the Wii so far hasn't grabbed me completely yet! I'm still dividing my time equally between all my older systems... It's significant that I've bought the Wii classic controller and Resident Evil for the Gamecube to play on my Wii.

I would suggest that (like Samba De Amigo), the motion sensor element of the Wii is better utilised with friends than on your own. The games such as Wii Play, Wii Sports or Warioware Smooth Moves will be great and "revolutionary" in terms of gaming. It will bring in non-gamers who like to play charades at parties etc. through the element of it being a silly physical experience that we can laugh at.

But Red Steel would be an equally good experience with a standard controller! (I'm going to whisper the next bit...)
I'd be equally happy with a PS3 or 360. I might change my mind as I get more familiar with the control system, but for now I'm happy with my Wii, but not blown away by it.

Having said that, it took me a long time to get into my DS.Originally I plumped for the PSP. Now I would as soon have a PSP as herpes... I'm a massive advocate of the DS, I think that it is indeed a truly revolutionary piece of kit...
Maybe I'll feel the same about the Wii in a few months time...

Artificial Intelligence

This is one of my favourite films!

Doll Face

I found this by total accident. I really like it.
It reminds me of elements of the Robofair in Steven Spielbergs AI...

Virginia Tech Shootings (Columbine Re-visited?)

Yet again another shooting occurs ata place of learning in the US. (look here).

Lonely, insular, psychotic and with delusions of grandeur and the desire to be remembered, Cho Seung Hi unloaded round after round int innocent victims at Virginia Tech.

Point 1: Guns, and the ability to freely get hold of guns and ammunition will only result in tragedies like this one.

Point 2: The hierarchy of 'cool', lack of inclusion and the scorn poured on individuals of Cho's social status, (inherent to US educational institutions) will result in fucked up individuals like Cho.

Point 3: We have to take ownership for creating individuals like Cho. They could not exist without the experiences that made them. Perhaps all he needed was someone to extend the hand of friendship or listen to him when he needed someone to talk to. Hard to swallow I know.

Point 4: Videogames will in some way be blamed for this, rather than the brutality of the society in which we live.

Point 5: My thoughts and prayers go out to all the individuals affected by this tragedy.

Here are the lyrics to a poignant track by US rapper Ill Bill, called "The Anatomy Of A School Shooting"

[Verse 1]The anatomy of a school shooting, shotgun under my trenchcoat

Columbiners did it, dead spoke - bloodred soaked

My mind consume the doom as I walk through the school

15 people killed and over 14 wounded

My name is Eric Harris, I was forever harrased, an outcast

You fuck with us and now me and Dylan is pulling out gats

I've been wantin to murder people

Suicide is played out, if you gonna die, take people with you

We've been planning this before the kids from Jonesboro did it

And I wanted the world to know when people died why we did it

I even killed myself but don't feel sorry for me

Feel sorry for your seads as we spread the diesease

Another bloodbath coming soon to a school near you

Smalltown killing-spree that's organized by the youth

Fuck the media, them fags be disguising the truth

Dragging my name through the mud when televizing the news

A bunch of ticking timebombs y'all, is more like me

Overflowin with hate, bullied to get raw like me

They constantly get picked on and shitted on like me

You'd probably get your head blown off by a kid like me

I put my mind to it and what I accomplish's frightening

The right thing, no matter what you idiots might think

Check it, I did that shit so idiots might think

This ain't a game, the nerds that you be fuckin with might flip

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

It's like this, what's more fun than slice wrist?

Kill that teacher that you hate, spray 25 kids

You'd be famous just like me if you did what I did

This is the anatomy of a school shooting

[Verse 2]I see dead people, it isn't my fault that they were evil

Fuck a favorite I hate everybody equal

Bitch I warned y'all, didn't I?

Now everybody wanna talk shit and cry asking why-

Two geeks picked up guns and turned murderous

All of y'all under beneath me you don't deserve to live

Two nerdy kids is that a crime?

why I've gotta be one of the cool kids just to walk by-

without being tripped, thrown down on the ground and kicked

Insulting me for no reason, I was treated like shit

The teachers let it happen

I've even seen some of them teachers laughing

That's why I had a smile on my face when I started blastin

I wasn't crazy - all of y'all were sick

I was the nicest person in the world - y'all were dicks

Don't even try to analyze me now you have no chance,

back then- maybe you could've been my friend

[Chorus]

808 State - In Yer Face

Enjoy this trip into my past! Happy days!

MC Tunes Vs 808 State - Tunes Split the Atom

WOW! Round about the time that the world was discovering that white boys could rhyme via Vanilla Ice *cough!* ...
one MC Tunes AKA Nicky Lockett was smashing it and representing for Manchester, backed by the incomparable Acid House pioneers 808 State.

I had the good fortune to spend a large chunk of the nineties with these people and looking back it was quite a ride! LOL! :)

Resident Evil: Code: Veronica - Dreamcast!

One of the best/most frustrating games I've ever played on the Dreamcast.

The visuals and story are fantastic, but stupid things like for getting to pick up a fire extinguisher in the first hour of gameplay can hamper you 20 hours later! Still a GREAT game! The second title of the franchise that I played to death, I've actually stopped very short of completing the game! This video shows the last 'cut scenes' that I haven't seen...

The Illuminatus Trilogy

The first time I ever heard of the Illuminati (that shadowy Masonic organisation that controls big business, politics and the judicial system), was through the classic psychedelic opus "Illuminatus!" co-written by Bob Shea and Robert Anton Wilson.

The book remains one of my favourites to this day. An acid fuelled novel encompassing inter-dimensional travel, Woodstock Europa, Nazi Zombies, Hagbard Celine (a modern day Captain Nemo - complete with his own vast Yellow Submarine) and corrupt New York cops. Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, all thoughtfully, originally and wittily written. Read about it here.

Buy it! Read it! Love it!

Funky Goes To Hollywood: Rock Me Daddy!

Continuing my trend for showcasing eighties inspired dance music, here's Funky Goes To Hollywood with 'Rock Me Daddy'. There was a time (about 10 years ago) when I would dance like that for eight hours straight, with eyes like saucers and love for all those around me. Now I get a sweat on just watching it!

Crass - The Punkest Of All Punk Bands!

At the start of the 1980s I was thirteen. Having missed the first wave of Punk, heralded by The Clash, The Sex Pistols and The Damned (amongst others), I was just old enough to get into Crass.

Crass were the quintessential Punk band. True anarchists, pacifists, vegans and feminists. They lived the DIY ethic, living communally in a co-op squat. Their music wasn't always easy on the ear, but their political message was inspiring and has shaped my political outlook to this day.

What was particularly great about Crass was that you could write to them and they would write hand written letters back, in which they would put in the occasional flexi disc, badges or sew on patches.

Receiving one of their letters felt like Christmas and the care they took of their fans made them the best band to be into, more so than the music.

Best single for me was Bloody Revolutions b/w Person's Unknown by label mates Poison Girls.

It's both amazing and gratifying to see they have a visible presence on the Internet, as few people seemed to know about them at the time.

Even though they sold a good amount of records they never charted because they sold their records below retail price out of loyalty to their fans. Steve Ignorant, Penny Rimbaud, B.A. Nana, Eve Libertine and all the other Crass boys and girls, this old punk salutes you!

KLF 2K Fuck The Millennium (Barbican Centre)

KLF-What time is LOVE? (UK)

What time is LOVE? So asked monumental art terrorists, crop circle faking, talking car owning, Illuminati enlightened art terrorists the KLF... AKA The Timelords... AKA The J.A.M.M.s ...AKA The Justified Ancients Of MU MU.

These guys kicked out the jams during the late eighties and early nineties when life for me was one big hedonistic rave! Top times! *FK wipes a nostalgic tear from his eye...*

Three Of My Favourite Retro Items...

Of all the blogs I write on, this is the most personal. It's also the least viewed and commented on. The two things are very obviously connected! However, that's OK because on this one I can write about anything I like, and tonight I get to put up a post about three of my favourite retro items. Mine, all mine.

At the time each one was thought of as cutting edge technology, a glimpse of the future if you will. Now they look a little clumsy, a little dated, a little naieve. To me they look beautiful.

One of these has been unearthed from a forgotten cupboard in my parent's house this very evening. At the time of it's purchase and presentation to myself, my elder brother and sister, it was a thing of wonder.

Friends from our street came round just to look at it in action. If they were lucky we'd let them have a go (against on of us of course.)

And here it is... A mid 1970's first generation home video game. The "Videomaster Colourscore", made by the good folks at Videomaster Ltd. 36-44 Tabernacle St. London.
Featuring "football, tennis and squash, for one or two players. 3 bat sizes. Automatic acceleration. Pause facility. Realistic hit sounds. On screen scoring."

Superb really. Still in it's box (although a little battered.) Still with it's instructions (never read).
Still in perfect working order (though never used.) The ancestor of The Saturn, The Dreamcast, the Wii. Wow!

The next is this from the early 1980s. It's the Casio VL Tone. A mini synthesiser requiring four AA batteries. it's claim to fame is it's two signiature tunes. Two bands utilised it's charms. Trio used it's rhythm settings for their Euro-smash "Da, Da, Da". Something of a novelty record at the time, I heard it recently and it sounded really good. Funny how time and nostalgia can enhance something's qualities.

The second (and frankly excellent) tune that utilised the VL-Tone (the Flute option) was the wonderful "Open Your Heart" by The Human League. Their LP "Dare" from which the single came, was overdubbed, twisted and mashed up to become "The League Unlimited Orchestra".

It remains one of the most quintessential sounds of the eighties, a big influence on the retro flavoured "Exceeder" by Mason. Genius. Buy it as soon as you can.

Lastly comes the Nokia 7650. The first camera phone from Nokia. It looks like a brick these days, but in the early days of this new Millenium it was the dog's bollocks. Iwas tickled pink that it could take photos. Then a technologically gifted friend of mine hooked it up to a computer via elecktrickery and "Shazam!" It was a VIDEOPHONE!!! No shit!

It's claim to fame is that it was touted as a piece of spyware in the Tombraider movies. And it is my phone of choice to this day. So there you go people. Three pieces of treasure, and mine all mine!

Peace to y'all!

Mason Exceeder Vs Princess Super Star Perfect Superstar

Having already flagged up my love of synthesised music, it's great to see Eighties influenced dance music making a big impression in clubland.

When you combine it with large chested lycra clad aerobic ladies instead of pretentious young men from Sheffield,(see below) you're onto a winner...

Just Say Yes?

If there are two things that bug me, it's stupid 'scare tactics' and computer "pop ups". Whilst browsing the wonderful IGN I came across an American commercial warning against DRUGS *shudder*. Check it out here ... See what you think...

Sure it's fine for the UK and US governments to make billions of ££££s and $$$$$ from alcohol, tobacco and prescription drugs such as Vicodin, but God forbid you should use a natural herb or fungus to expand your mind and get high. Here are my own opinions about the world of drugs...

Irresponsible, reckless and uninformed abuse of any drug is bad for you full stop. But drugs can be great fun too, if used responsibly. And some are going to do you less harm than others... Nicknames tend to be a decent guideline. "Smack" for example pretty much sums up the effects of Heroin... Definitely not reccomended!!!

"Ecstasy" however pretty much hits the nail on the head when describing MDMA. Warm, exciting, affection inducing, crystal sunshine.Why do you think raving and dance music have remained a stalwart recreational pass time twenty years since some bright spark put the two things together?

"Magic mushrooms" pretty much sums up the potential of psylocibin. The effects of these naturally occurring fungi can really reveal some mystical experiences or just cause the most hilarious of afternoons, when ingested in the right company and setting.

"Pot, weed, hash, dope, reefer, Mary Jane, tea, ganja, kali, rocky, soap bar, sensi"...and so on.

these are the various names attributed to cannabis, cannabis resin or marijuana. If eaten in the form of cookies, cakes or brownies then a funny and pleasant high is the most likely outcome.

If smoked then the outcome is likely to be the same, BUT they are going to harm your lungs.

Lungs are designed to take in air, NOTHING ELSE. Hash in particular has all kinds of crap mixed in with it, to bulk it out.

"Skunk" super strong genetically modified marijuana is deceptive. Due to the "un-natural levels of THC contained within it, it is highly psychotropic. This has acted as a trigger to those susceptible to mental illness. (This can be true of all narcotics... the danger is you will never know until you try... Something of a "Russian Roulette" potential... however, for the vast majority of people, sensible use of drugs will not harm them.)

It's a shame that drug use cannot be considered rationally and sensibly. Mis-information and scare tactics cause more problems than presenting an informed choice. The "Talk To Frank" commercials and campaign in the UK seem to be getting it right. Check it out here.

I guess my opinion as I approach my 40th year is that a natural, stimulant free, healthy life style is THE BEST way to live. Meditation, sensory deprivation, prayer and reflection can reveal the mystic side of our humanity and spirituality. Exercise can pump our bodies full of "feel good" endorphins. But if you feel the urge to experiment... Stay away from "crack", "smack", (YUCK!) and anything else that is addictive. Whatever you do keep well, play lots of videogames and stay happy!

the human league - being boiled live granada tv 1978

Ever since I can remember I've loved squelchy synthesisers, 303s, 808s, Korgs and Casio VL Tones!
Put them in the hands of bleak blokes from Sheffield with pretensions above their station and your onto a winner. As usual, enjoy! Oh and if by any chance you do visit, leave a comment, so I know someones out there... Cheers!

The Three Stooges

I love Youtube. I think it's simply fabulous that there is so much stuff out there that you can just lift and post!

I'm a sucker for old black and white comedies... Laurel and Hardy, The Marx Brothers and these guys... The Three Stooges! Larry, Curly and Mo! (Me and Curly have a looky-likey thing going on...) Enjoy this bit of silliness! Nyuck, nyuck nyuck!

KRS One, Paradise, Skinnyman and MCD - U Must Learn

Ah Music! I always wanted to post my favourite music on the Saturn Junkyard, but it really didn't seem to be the right place. So I've re-vamped my first ever blog (something of an experiment back in the day...) so I can have an outlet for non-game related ramblings. And what better way to kick off the proceedings than with a bit of homegrown British Hip Hop featuring the legendary KRS1 and my own personal favourite, Skinnyman. Enjoy!!

Satan's Hollow

Having stumbled out of the cinema with a slightly glazed/confused expression after watching 'A Scanner Darkly', my wife and I decided to go for a late night beverage in rainy old Manchester. This is not always an easy task, as it is often hampered by moody bouncers, restrictive dress codes or condescending transvestites who look at you like you'd just crawled out of a turd before not letting you in (and then letting everybody behind you in). Admittedly the latter usually only happens in the Gay Village. As we were walking towards the affore mentioned Village we noticed a small queue entering 101 Princess Street. On enquiring about the entrance fee (£3) and being checked to see if we were wearing football colours (we weren't) we were allowed in by the unusually friendly bouncers. What we then saw was somethig pretty special... The place was called Satan's Hollow (thats SATAN not SANTA parents... Don't take take the kids there at Christmas...) Not surprisingly for the lair of the dark lord it was bedecked in Shlock Horror pastiche with columns that looked like melted wax, with tortured faces shrieking from within. There was lots of red and black paint and indeed a rather impressive representation of Beelzeebub over the DJ booth. As I imagine the real Hell maybe like, the place was populated by Goths. There was even a classic 'House Of The Dead' arcade machine in the entrance for good measure! (Always going to be a winner with me that one). But then the surprise... The music kicked in... Michael Jackson, Will Smith, The Beach Boys, Arctic Monkeys, Led Zeppelin, The Sugar Hill Gang, A Tribe Called Quest and a plethora of eclectic other tunes which my Cider soaked memory will not allow me to remember blasted out of the sound system. It was great! And the real surprise was that the affore mentioned Goths all got right into it, dancing away with gay abandon and get this...smiling, laughing and messing about in a most un-Gothly way, shattering all my prejudices/pre-conceptions to bits! Added to this everyone was friendly and chatty, the barstaff attentive and charming. There were humorous notes and labels everywhere (there was a pad on the DJ booth for punters to write requests for songs wth the instruction "Make sure you spell it right you dumb cunts..." and a bar tap labelled "wee -honest". At the end of the night after a lot of dancing and laughing and £1.50 pints, the DJ gave a shout out for me and the Mrs. then presented me with a CD of music he'd written and recorded (not half bad- a bit like Syd Barrett and Gram Parsons in places) and his co-DJ gave me his email promising to burn a CD of his set list! A more friendly and non judgemental you could not hope to find. So if you are looking for a genuinely fun (and cheap) night out in good ol' Manc make sure you give it a whirl!

My Treamcast

Oh my god! The dreamcast is the gift that keeps on giving. As a latecomer to the scene, it gives me deep joy to keep on discovering how good the scene is! October I discovered Shenmue I & 2. In November it was House of the Dead 2 with light guns! January I got a green see through console. In march it was Dead or Alive 2. Last month I obtained a working Treamcast and this month I have found this site and the DC gallery. (Plus that VMUs have a gaming life of their own which I already suspected!) Questions I bought Shenmue 2 before 1 and all the dialogue is in Japanese. I then obtained both a Sega release Shenmue 1 and a pirate copy. Cripes! The ensuing English dalogue took away from my gaming experience ten fold! Tom's 'Jamaican' accent. (Shudder!) What gives?
Q2. I have never eperienced DC on-line. Can it still be accessed!?
Blessings to you all from The Reverend Father!